Get Stuffed

An Oxford eaterie finally achieves the impossible - PAUL STAMMERS is too full for dessert... yes, really.

I can understand why the Mexicans need to take a siesta I decided as I hauled my swollen body back down the High Street.

The effort soon became too much and I had to heave myself on to a bus instead to get back to the office.

It was, of course, all self-induced, having eaten my own body weight in burritos over lunch at the new Mission Mexican Grill in Oxford’s King Edward Street, where having digested something the size of a small child, I was left struggling to breathe.

Students must be chaffing at the bit to get their paws on one of the Mission’s offerings though, because not only are they enormous and all costing around £5, but also bursting with nutrition, fresh ingredients and taste great into the bargain.

So don’t pass this Mexican gaffe off solely as a student take-away.

For a start this sister ship to the original premises on St Michael’s Street has tables so you can actually sit down to enjoy your meal, making it a restaurant as well.

Or you can perch on one of the stools overlooking the street outside, which seems like a great prospect until you realise in horror that trying to physically hold a burrito of this size, isn’t going to be easy or pretty, and is therefore not something you want the world to watch, let alone every Tom, Dick and Harry walking past.

And why are they so big?

Well for a start there is so much to fit in.

Each burrito is crammed full of rice, black beans, then your choice of sauteed peppers and onions, slow roast pork, marinated steak or chipotle chicken, after which you add the extras.

So with a bit of cheese, some sour cream, chilli sauce, lettuce and salsa, you can’t imagine how the staff will physically be able to roll them up.

And yet a few seconds later, there it was laid out on a small tray – like a swimming towel.

Gulp! Time for the chilled margaritas. Deep breath and go. We tried the chicken and the vegetable version with guacamole. And soon realised there is no delicate way to do this. You just have to plunge in like an Olympic diver and hope for the best.

Flailing about in the deep end, after several minutes of chomping the damn thing didn’t seem to have gone down in size at all, even though my waist-band was already bulging.

Defeated I unrolled it, removed the rice, re-rolled it and started again. This time I got to the finishing line, panting. And I have to say it was delicious.

The Mission doesn’t do dessert – no kidding. There’s no point. Even Superman would have trouble consuming more than one course. So there you go – one overly satisfied customer who didn’t need to eat again for days. Oh, and a quick tip, fasting first might help.