Dear Janice,

My dog has a foot fetish and likes to lick my feet vigorously while trying to get his humping rhythm, and because he is still a pup, he is a bit unstable while doing this deed, so I have been known to assist him in not falling off the couch while in mid-action.

This is all good and well, but I can see how uncomfortable our visitors are when Barney latches on to me, and now they seem apprehensive to pet him in case he latches on to their leg too.

What can I do to discourage this behaviour as it is making our visitors blush?

Kristy.

Dear Kristy.

My daughter’s new addition was the most welcoming and affectionate puppy I had ever known.

She was all over me and often stuck to my right ankle until I discovered what she was really doing!  From that moment, I kept my distance until her humping antics were ‘cured’.

Mounting is a common behaviour. Animals are hardwired for breeding to prepare for their future, and this, along with many other factors is why your puppy behaves in this way.

Often, this isn’t a sexual act, but can be an act of dominance, overexcitement, anxiety, energy arousal (when you’re playing ball), or for attention (some dogs lick constantly, or need clapped).

Humping their owner’s leg is a sign that your dog feels safe with you, but you can’t have him humping your guests, so this habit needs to be broken and it’s your job to teach him how to conform to normal family life.

Your puppy can be trained, but firstly, it’s you who needs to be trained.

Stop letting him lick your feet (which is disgusting), and do not assist his actions in any way. Remove all humping cushions/toys etc and follow up with a list of strong commands.

www.rover.com will guide you.

If this doesn’t work you should seek out a professional dog trainer, or behaviourist.

Dear Janice,

I want to take a year out and travel the world, but my boyfriend is totally against it.

We discussed and agreed that we would like to get a place of our own, settle down and start a family in two or three years’ time, so he says we should be grateful that we both have secure jobs and that if we give them up, we may never get back to where we are now.

I want adventure before I settle down with a mortgage and kids, but he can’t see this as he is on a career path. He is a worrier, whereas I live for the day.

We are going round in circles; so how can we find a solution that we are both happy with?

Jen.

Dear Jen,

There is no right or wrong here, you’re just not on the same page.

Together you have discussed your future with a home and a family, so his brain is telling him that the logical way to have these things is by means of financial security. And he is right.

You, however, have a sense of adventure and quite rightly want to see the world before you descend into a life of commitment.

At this stage, take the pressure off yourselves and push back the idea of a home and kids.

Can your partner take sabbatical leave?

Or would it be so bad for you to take off on your travels without him?  He could join you a few times throughout the year, and you could video call every day.

There are options, it’s all about finding the one that suits you both. 

Dear Janice,

A year ago, I ended our marriage when I discovered my husband was cheating for the second time in a few years.

I was absolutely gutted to hear that he has met a much younger version of me and is really happy.

Then to my horror, I bumped into them.

She is beautiful, polite, charming, and friendly, and worst of all, he seemed totally smitten and was hanging on her every word.

I watched them interact as they walked away hand in hand, and I felt sick.

I have been so upset since. I now dread going to certain places in case I bump into them, and I regret ending our marriage.

I feel I have gone backwards in my healing, and don’t know what to do.

SJ.

Dear SJ,

Trust me when I say you made the right decision to end your marriage. One affair can be a mistake, but two is a habit.

Looking back to when you met your husband, did he hang on your every word? Was he affectionate, loving, and besotted with you?

I’d say yes to all of these things…. and then he began looking elsewhere.

It is highly likely that when their honeymoon period is over, history will repeat itself and his new love will find herself where you are.

But now it’s time to stop focusing on him and his life and focus on you and yours.

Fill your life with people who make you happy and fill your diary with things you love to do.

It sounds simple, but doing this will shift your energy from what might have been, to thrilling excitement of what has yet to come.  I wish you luck.