Dear Janice, yet again my sister-in-law has given me a very precise list of Christmas gifts she wants us to buy her three kids.

They are all under ten, extremely spoiled, cheeky, and on top of that, their gifts are well over my budget.

My husband casually hinted that her gift list was expensive, but she said that anything less wasn’t worth bothering about, and that giving her kids things they don’t want is a waste of money. Despite that, she doesn’t ask what our boys want and buys them pyjamas and a selection box. We say nothing as we don’t want a fall-out, especially at this time of year, but I am really resentful and angry about it.

My husband says he hates conflict and that he is saying no more. I feel he is no support, so what else can I do? Emma.

Dear Emma, this isn’t your husband’s doing, so lay off of him.

Scrap this nonsense of giving unappreciated, unwanted, costly, and unnecessary gifts.

Be blunt. Tell your sister-in-law that you simply do not have the money to spend on the gifts she expects, and for that reason from now on you will do birthdays for the kids, but not Christmas.

Offer to have her children stay over for a Christmas fun night with a movie, drinks and pizza. Play games and make it a memorable time.

The night should be relatively cheap, and mum and dad have a child-free night to themselves. It’s win-win all round, I reckon.

If your sister-in-law is still unhappy, then there really is no pleasing this lady. So, stop trying.

Dear Janice, I am 78 years old and have no children or partner. My good friends have passed away and I am now concerned about what will happen to me when I can no longer look after myself in my own home.

I am lonely and sad most days and wonder if there is even a point in still being here.

I have thought about a care home but don’t know how to start selling my home or what I would do with all my things. I get so worked up about the hopelessness of it all so I put it out of my mind for another time.

Who can help me? I read a lot about people being conned, especially the elderly, therefore how do I know who to trust? George.

Dear George, it is understandable that you are anxious and concerned about your future – especially as you have no one to discuss this with – but the longer you put things off, the more distressed you will become.

You took the first step by contacting me, so take the next one. Help is only a call away.

Please contact the Age UK Scotland helpline on 0800 12 44 222 or www.ageuk.org.uk.

They are set up to advise, support and help with issues the elderly experience, such as requiring financial support, health care and companionship, and can help with your care home options.

They also partner with The Silver Line who offer free telephone friendship services so you can enjoy chatting with someone over the phone. If this becomes something you enjoy, you could join their Befriending services and help others in your situation. George, talking and sharing experiences with like-minded individuals can help you feel you are not alone. Hopefully you still have many good years ahead, so embrace your future instead of dreading it.

Best wishes.

Dear Janice, I got engaged on my birthday recently and am already having second thoughts. The proposal was a complete surprise but with so many people there for my birthday, I felt obliged to say yes.

I do love my fiancé, but his constant jibes, and jokes aimed at me are relentless. People laugh, but I know they are embarrassed.

I do have a sense of humour, and I’m not immature, but I find myself feeling low at times, especially after another tirade of endless criticism.

He is very short-tempered, swears, and flies off the handle at the slightest thing.

I think I’m way over my head now with all these mixed feelings and I don’t know what to do. Karin.

Dear Karin, the man you are planning to marry is showing very little respect towards you. Verbally attacking someone is cowardly, and if you allow his inexcusable behaviour to continue, your self-esteem will disappear until you barely recognise yourself. Also, keep in mind, verbal abuse is often followed by physical abuse.

Your fiancé doesn’t sound like a loving, mature man who is ready for marriage, but it is a relief that you at least recognise you have a problem.

Counselling can help, if he is willing to participate, or a GP referral for anger management classes. However, I reckon he is more than likely to refuse to attend as he will be in denial that he has any of these issues.

To help you recognise and gain a better understanding of his behaviour, I suggest you check out some of the great books on anger management which explain some of the underlying causes of anger and how to deal with it. (If you want to go down that road.) Otherwise, it is down to him to recognise and change his behaviour. If he doesn’t, give him his ring back and move on.